Chad: Hey Mogg. Mogg: Hey Mr. J. Chad: So now you’re doing all this merch, marketing like these three awesome DEATH BATTLE t-shirts can get kind of stressful so we added two new office amenities what I think will help take the edge off. Like the new office jacuzzi? Mogg: Sheesh, no thanks! You have a smell of wet sloth before? Chad: All right, maybe a relaxing massage then? Mogg: Eeh, I got a fear of hands. Chad: All right, how about a nice hot sauna? Mogg: It’s a (bleep) toast oven Chad. Mogg Slothman And now I got the sexiest shirt in the market: DEATH BATTLE shirts. You wear this you’re gonna find yourself in a sex battle; I don’t know what that is, but I know you’ll love it okay? Now click that link below and buy this shirt or they gonna eat me! (Cues: Invader – Jim Johnston) Wiz: It is the duty of all who dedicate their lives to the science of robotics: make the coolest, deadliest machine you possibly can. Boomstick: Just don’t make ’em too smart; that never works out for ya. Wiz: Metal Sonic, Dr. Eggman’s hedgehog destroyer. Boomstick: And Zero, Dr. Wily’s Maverick Hunter. He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick. Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills find out who would win… A DEATH BATTLE! (Cues: Dr. Eggman’s Theme – Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog) Doctor Eggman was a genius with a dream. A dream of a world ruled by his own iron fist. However, there was just one small problem: a speedy blue problem. Boomstick: Sonic the Hedgehog. ♪The fastest thing alive, yeeeah!♫ (clears his throat) (Cues: Dr. Eggman’s Theme – SatAM)
No matter how many times Eggman tried taking over the world, this freedom fighter just kept gettin’ in his way. Wiz: But like any respectable scientist, Eggman was a problem solver. Thus, he developed the ultimate hedgehog killer: a machine which would not just equal his speedy nemesis, but surpass him. Boomstick: And Doctor Tubby called his greatest creation… Metal Sonic. (Cues: Sonic & The Black Knight Music “Fight The Knight – Vs. King Arthur 2” Instrumental) He’s even got a sweet chest speaker to blast Slayer all day long. Wiz: Speaker…what? No, no, no, he’s just MADE of metal. Boomstick: Oh… That’s cool too. Wiz: To contend with his cool blue rival, Metal Sonic was built to reach and maintain incredible speeds. Boomstick: And unlike most of his wacky inventions, Eggman actually got this one perfect; Metal Sonic is hella fast. Wiz: Metal Sonic is also equipped with tons of tools and tricks specifically to overpower Sonic. He can fire a plasma pulse laser from his chest, construct a Black Shield which seems practically indestructible, and blast through obstacles by going V. Maximum Overdrive. Boomstick: “Black Shield”? “Maximum Overdrive”? ( Cues: Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 Music “Wave Ocean The Inlet”)
You’re sure he’s not into metal? ‘Cause those sound like some killer band names to me. Wiz: To activate V. Maximum Overdrive, Metal overloads his own circuits to quadruple his speed while simultaneously surrounding himself with a destructive energy field. Boomstick: If all that wasn’t enough Metal Sonic can scan his opponents to copy their techniques. He copied the explosive Knuckle Slam from Knuckles, ESP from Silver, the Bat Guard technique from Rouge, and even copied Shadow the Hedgehog’s signature Chaos Control. Wiz: He can only copy specific moves at a time but whatever power he takes is not limited by his physical body. This is because Metal Sonic can actually morph and manipulate his form. Boomstick: He totally stole that from T-1000. Wiz: Funny mentioning Terminator because you’re not too far off. Metal Sonic is so powerful that he’s overcome his own programming, overthrown his creator and attempted a global takeover all on his own. Boomstick: And he can do it too. He’s shielded attacks from Shadow’s deadly Chaos Spears and Silver’s telekinetic ESP. He’s dodged attacks from Knuckles, Amy and Espio at the same time and he even competed in the Olympics! You know how tough it is to qualify for that? Like, really tough. Plus he gives Sonic a run for his money whenever they race. Wiz: Metal can match and sometimes even outpace Sonic’s speed. Sonic’s specific top speed is technically unknown; he boasts that he’s faster than light but he has yet to prove this in canon without the aid of additional equipment. Sonic’s highest speed is officially described as hypersonic, and his best record comes from Sonic Unleashed, where he’s recorded running up to 3,000 SPD. Assuming this translates to metric meters given the game’s Japanese development, this puts Sonic in the high end of the hypersonic spectrum, clocking his highest recorded speed at a whopping 6,711 miles per hour. Boomstick: That’s over eight times the speed of sound. Damn! I wish that was that fast; could’ve escaped my ex-wife way before things got serious. Wiz: This speed is likely what Dr. Eggman was aiming to beat when designing Metal Sonic; even then with his abilities like V. Maximum Overdrive, Metal Sonic can increase his speed up to 26,844 miles per hour. That’s Mach 35; more than enough to reach escape velocity! (Cues: Sonic Heroes Music “Final Fortress”)
Boomstick: And this bot has a lot of power behind him. In one of his battles with Sonic, their conflict caused enough damage to break off that ginormous stalactite over the city. Look at the size of that thing!! Wiz: By comparing its size to the nearby buildings and assuming a granite base composition, we can estimate that the stalactite weighs over 46 million tons. The energy required to cleave a rock that size could be as high as two hundred THOUSAND tons of TNT, ten times the power of the atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki. Boomstick: And if that’s not powerful enough for ya, Metal Sonic has a couple different super forms. There’s a Red Titan form, his Neo form and best of all: Metal Overlord. Again with the band names! By copying the powers of Sonic and his friends Metal transformed into this flyin’ dragon looking thingamajig. He can fire missiles, shoot gigantic chunks of crystal, trap opponents and destroy everything. Wiz: Metal Overlord is so impressive it took the combined might of Super Sonic, Tails and Knuckles to take him down. Boomstick: Yeah, he may be metal as hell but he’s not indestructible. Despite being Sonic’s superior in almost every way, he still loses fights to him more often than not. Wiz: Metal Sonic is extremely durable, but his internal systems are susceptible to overloading if pushed too far. For example, every time he uses his V. Maximum Overdrive attack, he risks permanent damage. Also, even though he’s mimicked multiple organic abilities, they’re sort of simplified versions. He’s never displayed any at their greatest potential. Boomstick: Still, this is one of the deadliest machines we’ve ever seen. As long as Metal Sonic’s around, even the fastest thing alive struggles to keep up. Wiz: For decades the robotic war between Dr. Light and Dr. Wily left destruction in its wake. No matter how many machines Wily created in his quest for world domination, Dr. Light’s own Mega Man was always there to stop him. But like any successful genius, Dr. Wily was determined to have the final word, even if it came from beyond his grave. Boomstick: Wily put all the smarts he could into creating the best robot he’d ever built. It’s name was Zero. Wiz: Dr. Wily’s plan to create the world’s most powerful robot succeeded all too well. Designed for combat and violent by nature, Zero was primed to put Wily back on top. Boomstick: Just one problem: because of a glitch, Zero was totally disobedient to Dr. Wily and attacked him. I mean, I don’t blame him. If that face was the first thing I saw when I woke up, I’d probably punch it too… or send it back to the bar whence it came. Wiz: How sad, all that hard work wasted over a single programming flaw. Wily was forced to seal Zero away, and he wouldn’t be discovered for another 100 years. Boomstick: But a long nap wasn’t enough to calm him down. When he woke up he wasted everything around him, until he was stopped by Commander Sigma, the leader of the peacekeeping Maverick Hunters. Wiz: Sigma may have stopped Zero, but then things got complicated. For some reason, Zero’s stasis pod also contained a mysterious virus. The virus infected Sigma and, for some reason, swapped Sigma and Zero’s morality alignments. Boomstick: So Sigma turned evil and Zero turned good. Just like robot Freaky Friday! Being a good guy now, Zero joined the Maverick Hunters, making it his mission to eliminate any machine which posed a threat to the world. Because what else you gonna do in robot world but fight crime with a laser sword? Wiz: He’s certainly well equipped for the job. The Z-Buster is Zero’s go to long-range weapon with both rapid fire and charged energy shots. Boomstick: He’s also got tons of deadly spears, hammers and chains, but his favorite weapon is his trusty energy sword: the Z-Saber. Wiz: The Z-Saber is arguably Zero’s most essential weapon. With it, he can cut other machines down to size with a wide variety of grounded and airborne strikes. Furthermore, he can enhance his blade by mimicking the power of his enemies. This lets him use the Z-Saber for attacks imbued with fire, ice, electricity and even metal. Boomstick: But he can copy more than just sword stuff; Zero can use the Twin Dream technique to create a clone which mimics his every move. He can summon robot dragonflies to fight alongside him, call down beams of energy from the sky with Rekkoha and even use Dark Hold to temporarily freeze time. Wiz: If necessary, Zero can activate Black Zero Mode. This form halves his defense in order to double his attack power and quadruple his speed. He can also transform into the stronger and faster Absolute Zero. Yes, that’s was its called. In this form he loses access to his Z-Sword and acquired abilities, but he gains razor-sharp claws and the power of flight. Boomstick: Check out those bat wings! You know, with all these cool powers, he’s pulled off some crazy shit. He’s defeated dozens of Mavericks and even Sigma himself multiple times. Wiz: Not to mention stopping dozens of other threats to the entire planet, such as when Eurasia, an enormous city floating in space, fell to Earth in a crash course similar to the asteroid which annihilated the dinosaurs. But that’s okay! Zero took care of it. How? By flying a space shuttle right into it like a badass! And he survived. Suck that, asteroid city! Wiz: Moreover, it’s important to remember Zero was specifically built to be far superior to the original Mega Man. We’ve analyzed Mega Man before and learned he could keep up with the speedy Quick Man and catch a 60,000 ton castle. Boomstick: So… Zero’s better than that. Wiz: Zero is undoubtedly Dr. Wily’s greatest creation, but like the mad scientist’s other machines, he has his downfalls. Despite being a machine, Zero is susceptible to exhaustion. And if he receives too much damage, not even his auto-repair systems can return him from the brink. Boomstick: Also he sometimes comes down with a bad case of edgy anime protagonist. Zero: WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!? Wiz: And yet Zero is a fearless guardian who won’t rest until his world’s safety is secured, even if he has to be reincarnated multiple times to do it. Boomstick: And kick his own ass! Zero: I don’t even need my sword for such an easy fight. Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: But first… robots can’t really enjoy food. But for all the humans out there, do I have news for you! Grandpappy Boomstick always said that nothing in life is better than good food and making something with your own two hands. And Blue Apron is both those things combined. Wiz: Blue Apron is the #1 fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country. All ingredients arrive right to your door guaranteed fresh and ready to cook. Boomstick: It’s better than eating fast food plus It’s affordable; Blue Apron is less than $10 per person per meal. Wiz: Choose from a variety of recipes and get the meals that sound good to you. The ingredients are perfectly proportioned and the instructions are easy to follow. I mean even Boomstick can do it! Boomstick: Hey! Watch it or you’re not getting any to the next meal I make when it arrives. Like the chili butter steaks with Parmesan potatoes and spinach. Wiz: And if you’re worried about variety, don’t bother! Recipes are not repeated within the year so you’ll never get bored. Check out this week’s menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to BlueApron.com/BATTLE Boomstick: You’ll love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible home-cooked meals with Blue Apron. So don’t wait. Wiz: That’s BlueApron.com/BATTLE Boomstick: Blue Apron: a better way to cook. But right now… IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Zero: Found the Maverick! I’ll take care of it! Starting mission now! Announcer: FIGHT Zero: Just like a training program! Ugh… How did this happen!? Charge Shot! Rekkoha! Metal Sonic: I’ll crush you! Black Zero: Crap! Metal Overlord: (laughing) Take this! (Roars) Chaos Control! Black Zero: This will be over in a nanosecond. Mission accomplished! Announcer: KO Boomstick: And boom goes the… giant flying robot monster. Wiz: Metal Sonic was a worthy adversary but Zero was simply better equipped for this battle. Boomstick: At Mach 35 speeds, Metal seemed like a shoe-in for better speed, right? On paper maybe. But remember Mega Man beat Quick Man and Zero was built to surpass Mega Man in every way. Wiz: Quick Man’s top speed was recorded at two hundred twenty-four thousand miles per hour, over eight times faster than Metal Sonic. Scaled to the inferior Mega Man, Zero could certainly handle a machine of Metal Sonic’s speed. Boomstick: Zero’s vast arsenal also gave him plenty of options for just about every situation, even when Metal tried screwing with time. Wiz: Unlike Metal, Zero actually possessed multiple methods of stopping time, which were more instantaneous and just as effective as Metal Sonic’s imperfectly-copied Chaos Control. Boomstick: So Zero definitely had the advantage in that field. Wiz: The durability difference was pretty clear too. Zero’s feat with the Eurasia space colony trumps anything Metal’s ever endured. The resulting explosion was similar to the asteroid impact which killed the dinosaurs; an event estimated to have equaled one hundred trillion tons of TNT. Boomstick: But even surviving a tiny fraction of that explosion was far more impressive than the 200 kilotons of TNT needed to to break that giant rock. And that was from Metal Sonic and real Sonic’s power combined. Boomstick: Even ramming Zero at full speed would not have done much. Moving at Mach 35, Metal’s 276 pound body would only hit with enough force to destroy a building. To be blunt, not only was Metal Sonic outmatched in speed and durability, but he didn’t have the means to truly kill Zero. Whereas Zero’s shown time and time again that he could destroy enemies just as tough and bulky as Metal Overlord. Boomstick: Looks like Metal Sonic was the real Zero in this fight. Wiz: The winner is Zero! Ben: Hey don’t go away we’re about to reveal the matchup for the next episode of DEATH BATTLE. Chad: And if you wanna see the exclusive commentary on this episode click that little button over there and start a FIRST membership trial helps us out a lot.